go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
