i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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