every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
