SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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