he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
