Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
