it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
