You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
