My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
