you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
