We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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