I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
