the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
