Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
