No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
