I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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