I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
