So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
