I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
