I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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