i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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