the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
