Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
