Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
