I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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