you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize