I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
