Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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