your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
