You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
