I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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