the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
