i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
