Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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