It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
