i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
