If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
