someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
