I just made out with a guy for $7.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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