im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
