I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
