so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
