Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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