I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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