Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
