"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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