Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
