she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
