I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
