Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
